New Girl quotes are the funnest part of the show. It's pretty incredible how many hilarious lines they come up with week in and week out, so we suggest browing through New Girl quotes on a regular basis. For your funny bone's sake.

Schmidt: Ahh! A spider!
Nick: Jess, why did you do that? You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.

I will say only one thing about that man that I've only said about Ryan Gosling...hot damn!

Winston

Schmidt: Come on Gina, give me a shot at red potatoes.
Gina: No way cause I need ya. You're the best sort of mid-level employee I've ever had. You are the ass to my horse and I'm gonna keep you right here, right by my side where I can find ya, forever.

You got girl trouble, get a crystal!

Winston

Eat glass and die you tramp!

Mrs. Roz

If you died, I'd be lost!

Nick

Jess: So you want us to come out so that you can go back to hooking up with all the hot teachers?
Coach: Very much so.

I just want to be slapped around!

Winston

We'll be celebrating Bangsgiving!

Schmidt

I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.

Winston

I’m not putting on the kimono. It legitimizes you owning it.

Nick

I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.

Nick
New Girl quotes work incredibly well because they attempt to combine comedy and drama, ridiculousness and being totally sincere, as the six characters explore the difficulties of their late 20s and early 30s. Because they are all maturing (or struggling to) in regards to relationships and careers, this often leads to New Girl quotes that are heartfelt as well as hilarious and gives the show a unique appeal. Schmidt and Nick likely produce the funniest lines week in and week out, although all the characters have their moments.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Schmidt: Ahh! A spider!
Nick: Jess, why did you do that? You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.