I don't know if Hogwarts is near San Diego. I've never heard of it.

Nick

My whole life is you.

Schmidt

Ferguson is on the elevator. Is that OK?

Regan

I know you're a terrible liar, but I need you to lie to Cece.

Schmidt

I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.

Schmidt

Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

Jess

Everyone has had sex in my room!

Jess

We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!

Cece

Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

Jess

I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

Jess

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

Jess

New Girl Quotes

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick