New Girl

New Girl Quotes

Episode 14: "Bully"

Jess: Why do we care about a crescent moon?
Winston: I don't know, but I'm gonna live there some day.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

CeCe: Guys are always just showing me off, and I hate it.

Schmidt: I want to tell people about us because I think you are the dopest, flyest, smartest, ballsiest woman that I've sexually enjoyed in really long time.
 • Rating: Unrated

CeCe: Come on Schmidt! I can't be the first woman who's ashamed to be with you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: Who do I speak to RE: getting something removed from the Internet?
 • Rating: Unrated

Schmidt: I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

CeCe: I wish there was a word that meant complete satisfaction and complete self loathing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 13: "Valentine's Day"

CeCe: If someone catches us, then I'm going to say that you're drugging me, and it's my word against yours.
Schmidt: Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.
Schmidt: Twirly? Is that like horny?
Jess: I've got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: This is a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: Where's your boyfriend?
CeCe: We're meeting up later because he has a little surprise for me.
Schmidt: Spoiler: it's his penis.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Julia: You did all the work wrong, though.
Nick: Yeah, I know I did.
Julia: That's okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 12: "Landlord"

Jess: Oh my God! It's like The Wire!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: It is a sexually charged, zero gravity tea ceremony!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess [to Remy]: I know you probably think cupcakes are totally lame. I know I do. So if you could do me a solid and take care of these extras.
 • Rating: Unrated

Remy [to Nick]: You get to be the underpants captain tonight.
Jess: Great choice, Remy. Nick will make a great underpants captain.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nick: Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it's just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Schmidt: What if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 11: "Jess and Julia"

Schmidt [with foreign accent]: Train to Panama all sold out. Must be Mardi Gras!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Winston: What are we laughing at?
Shelby: How much I am not going home with you tonight.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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