Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

Winston

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

Schmidt

That's more like dork magic.

Nick

I want magic, is that so bad?

Nick

Ever since we got engaged you've been acting insanely jealous.

Cece

This woman is engaged. Her number belongs to God now, thank you.

Schmidt

If I can't have a kid with a woman, then maybe I'll have one with my cousin.

Nick

I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything. I worked on it this morning.

Schmidt

You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

Schmidt

You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.

Nick

They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.

Schmidt

I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.

Winston

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach