A Less Than Favoriable Review of the Constantine Maroulis Album

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Here's a subpar review of the first album from Constantine Maroulis. The apparent message from The Chicago Tribune?

Perhaps he ought to stick to The Bold and The Beautiful.

Constantine Pic
Backstory: Remember Constantine Maroulis? Finished in sixth place two years ago on American Idol? Did the rock thing, à la Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry? Greek? Off-Broadway actor/singer?

Why you should care: Because if runner-ups like Daughtry and Clay Aiken can put out better (and better-selling records) than some of the actual Idol winners, that means there's room for everyone. And Maroulis, while not possessing the most distinctive voice in the world, pleasantly emulates Rob Thomas, John Mayer and the late great Brad Delp (Boston), among others.

Verdict: And yet, these songs… Wow. Lead single "Everybody Loves" mixes rock guitar, some upbeat piano, soulful back-up vocals and enough "nah nah nahs" to worm its way into your head. Sadly, lyrics like "you can drink champagne with the president of Spain / or be a poor man walking in the rain" destroy the album's one chance of creating a decent pop single.

Elsewhere, Maroulis channels mall metal circa 1989 ("Child of the Revolution"), latter-day Santana ("Girl Like You") and, uh, a petulant teen girl ("Favorite T-shirt," where Maroulis demands his favorite outerwear back).

X-Factor: If you have problems finding the record, send your complaints to Maroulis' record company, Sixth Place Records. He owns it.

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.