The Office Quotes: "Koi Pond"

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Thursday's episode of The Office was called "Koi Pond." This is because Michael took a spill into one on his way to a business meeting and Jim let him flounder. Har har, get it?

A Halloween episode that began uncomfortably (see photo) with a party for local kids at the Dunder Mifflin warehouse became more so after Michael's aforementioned spill.

Michael simply could not handle being the butt of a joke and bad fish puns.

Some of them were pretty good, too. The longer it went, the harder he took it. Then, in an effort to roll with it, he only made himself look more insecure and awkward.

In short, vintage Office.

Michael on Halloween

Halloween. Michael Scott style. Relax ... it was even worse than it looks.

Some of The Office quotes from this episode were even more classic than usual. Follow the link for our complete list from 2005-present. Some of last night's best:

Creed: I vant to sell you blood!
Ryan: That's really not the trend in vampires right now. | permalink
Darryl: You're not as scary as Bookface over there.
Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface. | permalink
Michael: I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond. Then he'd have to put on my suit. And it'd be too short. And he'd look... dammit he'd still look good. | permalink
Pam: You blew the sale, you idiot!
Andy: Let me tell you something, I was never gonna make that sale. | permalink
Erin: Uh, David Wallace called.
Michael: Oh he did, what did he say?
Erin: He heard you made a big splash, at the meeting, oh my God that was so mean what I just said and I didn't mean it. It was Kevin and Meredith that put me up to it.
Kevin: I'm gonna kill you. | permalink
Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael: Okay.
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay. | permalink
Dwight: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But- | permalink

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The Office Quotes

Michael: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh, Pam has been with us, um, for forever... Right, Pam?
Pam: Well, I don't know...
Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago! [growls]
Pam: What?
Michael: Uh, any messages?

[on the phone] All right, done deal! Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar! [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake. [hangs up] That was a woman I was talking to... so, she had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So that's the way it's done!

Michael