Before Seinfeld was in the news for little more than calling Lady Gaga a jerk, he was the co-creator and star of one of the most critically-acclaimed and popular sitcoms. Now he calls out ridiculous pop stars. How the mighty have fallen.
Without further ado, we present to your our favorite quotes from the sophomore season:
Marlene: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
Jerry: You're a cashier! | permalink
Jerry: A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it, so it turned against you. Same thing happened to the Blob. | permalink
Jerry: I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong? | permalink
Jerry: I had a leather jacket that got ruined. Now, why does moisture ruin leather? I don't get this. Aren't cows outside most of the time? I don't understand it. When it's raining do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in, we're all wearing leather. Open the door! We're gonna ruin the whole outfit here!" "Is it suede?" "I am suede, the whole thing is suede, I can't have this cleaned. It's all I got!" | permalink
George: Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year. | permalink
Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is.
George: Is that right? I just threw away a life time of guilt free sex and floor seats for every sporting event at Madison Square Gardens. So please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.
Roxanne: (cheering on marathon runners You're all winners!
George: But suddenly, a new contender has emerged. | permalink
Jerry: The best revenge is living well.
George: There's no chance of that. | permalink
George: What about like an announcer? Like a color man? You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game?
Jerry: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.
George: So? What about that?
Jerry: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and, ya know, people in broadcasting.
George: That's really not fair. | permalink
Kramer: Boy, they've got a great cafeteria downstairs. Hot food, sandwiches, a salad bar. It's like a Sizzler's opened up a hospital! | permalink
George: You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood! | permalink
George: Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet? It's impossible. It can't be done. Thousands of years people have been trying to have their cake and eat it too. So all of a sudden the two of you are going to come along and do it. Where do you get the ego? No one can do it. It can't be done. | permalink
Jerry: New York to Long Island. Long Island to Florida. It's like the Bermuda Triangle. Unfortunately no one ever disappears. | permalink
Kramer: Cats run away all the time. You know, my aunt, she had a cat. Ran away. Showed up three years later. You never know. They've got things in their brains where they remember where they're from. Unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding him. See, that's what you've gotta worry about. | permalink
Jerry: Look I feel sorry for him too, but he'll get another job. I mean let's face it, it's not a profession in which you embellish your resume and undergo a series of gruelling interviews. | permalink
Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.