Classic TV Quotes: That 70's Show Season One

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When it wasn't trying too hard with its drug-induced transitions or its cheesy 70s references, That 70's Show actually had some pretty amazing characters and dialogue.

Prom Night Pic

So it may seem random for us to cover this long-running Fox sitcom in our Classic TV Quotes segment, but hey, we were fans.  Even when we weren't tripping.

So go ahead and relive this show's fantastic freshman season when love was first in the air between Eric and Star Wars, err Donna.  Click to vote on your favorite That 70's Show quotes:

Kelso: That's Fez. He's a foreign exchange student.
Jackie: Who did we exchange for him? | permalink
Kelso: What happened to your dad's hair?
Donna: He got a permanent.
Kelso: So that's permanent? | permalink
Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she's going to give you the big gift. You know, the big gift. You guys know what I'm talking about, right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I'm not even from here, and I got it. | permalink
Eric: Oh, Laurie, I remembered I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you. | permalink
Ricky: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Eric: Fatso Burger.
Fez: Covered in gold chains!
Kelso: Rock star. No, a movie star No, wait. Yeah. Rock star.
Hyde: Prison. | permalink
Hyde: ...Let's drink beer!
Kelso: Me first!
Donna: No way! I spotted it!
Kelso: Nah, I saw it too. I just didn't say anything!
Hyde: You saw a keg and you didn't say anything?! BACK OF THE LINE! | permalink
Eric: Are you gay?!
Buddy: No, I'm not gay!
Eric: But you just kissed me!
Buddy: ...Okay, I'm gay. | permalink
Red: I want you to pick out this year's tree. And whatever you don't spend, you can use for your party.
Eric: Look, Dad, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree...
Red: Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's 40 dollars.
Eric: I want 50.
Red: Knock it off! | permalink
Kitty: Honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric: Donna's Italian. | permalink
Jackie: I can't believe you, Michael.
Kelso: What?
Jackie: You can't just maul me in front of my father!
Kelso: I bet he didn't even notice.
Jackie: He yelled at you to stop it.
Kelso: I thought he was yelling at you. | permalink
Jackie: Look, I need to talk to someone. I can really use a friend right now.
Eric: Okay then well, good luck with that. | permalink
Kelso: Guys, guess who's taking Pam Macey to the prom?
Hyde: Anyone with a quarter?
Kelso: NO, ME!
Fez: Darn, and I had a quarter, too. | permalink
Donna: Remember when you beat him up on the playground?
Eric: I kicked his ass.
Jackie: Wait. Wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
Eric: Yep. And I kicked his ass. | permalink
Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.
Donna: Have you talked to Red about this?
Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? And this is like, twice as bad! | permalink
Kelso: You know, Hyde, seeing you work hard and take pride in what you do... I lost a lot of respect for you, man.
Fez: You used to be my hero. My lazy American hero. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.