The ABC Family juggernaut known as The Secret Life of the American Teenager is back.  

Last week's season premiere was all over the place, trying to bring the audience up to speed, but the main thing it left us with was the overwhelming notion that Adrian was indeed pregnant.

Let’s start with her. Yep, it’s true, Adrian’s knocked up.  Not sure what she’s waiting for when we all know she’s pro-choice.  It seems as if she doesn’t want to go to the clinic alone, which is legitimate.  And I don’t blame her for not telling Ben yet.  With the way gossip spreads on this show, there’s no point in making things more difficult right now.

Strangely, Adrian finds an ally in Ashley.  This seemed kind of convoluted considering the thick sexual/romantic tension that Ashley has with Adrian’s ex (and her sister’s baby daddy), the notorious Ricky.  Then again, if I was a member of the Juergens, I’d be pretty damn messed up, too.  They really don’t parent their children at all, or even talk to them. 

Note to George and Anne: get in therapy, seriously.  It’s really not that hard, just act like the grown-ups for once.

Meanwhile, I love how innocent Ben is, that he really thinks he, Amy, and baby John will be together for the rest of their lives.  It’s sweet and naïve, and we’re all dreamers before we become jaded. His strong conviction that they will really be a family is what makes this show so fake. 

Let’s get real: all 16-year old boys think about is getting cheap beer and getting into girls’ pants.

Obviously, Ben would leave the phone on when his friends walk in with a PACKET of info on early pregnancy tests; hello, it’s called email!

Hard evidence is never a good idea when it comes to touchy issues.  These kids preach about being “careful” with their birth control pills when they barely know what foreplay is, yet they can’t check to make sure that they’ve ended a phone call?

Finally, Blossom, please, get off of the show.  Her character is corny and cringe-worthy on a series that's already beyond cheesy.  Maybe next week we won’t have to wait a whole episode for someone to state what we already know.