True Blood Round Table: "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?"

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Welcome to the latest edition of the True Blood Round Table.

Below, Editor-in-Chief Matt Richenthal is joined by senior writers Eric Hochberger, Carissa Pavlica and Jim Garner as they pick apart topics from "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?" As always, reader feedback is encouraged...


What was your favorite scene?
Matt: Gonna go with a surprise entry here: Andy flipping out on Sam, on V. I always love it when the show can combine with zany with the realistic. Somewhere, all heroin-addicted readers are nodding in agreement.

Eric: As much as I hated on Eric's memory loss last week, it led to some pretty great lines/moments here. Because Carissa stole my favorite one, I'll give it to second place when he asked Sookie nicely if she could be his. "Thanks for asking."

Carissa: The very last. The goofy little smile that Eric had after he said "sorry" to Sookie? Priceless.

Jim: It has to be Eric being punched in the nose by "Snookie." However, I'm not sure why she ran if she was just going to give him a punch in the beak any way!

true blood rt

Jessica glamouring Hoyt: Fair or foul?
Matt: Fair game, people. We all need to use our best God-given talents in any fight/argument. For some folks, it's a nice smile. For others, it's the power of logic. For Jessica, it's the ability to make her partner forget at any time.

Eric: Oh, absolutely foul. But mostly because I'm jealous. Do you know how many fights I could avoid with girlfriends this way?!?

Carissa: Foul. But, admittedly, I would do it if I could.

Jim: Foul! I am disappointed in you, Jessica. After standing up for your right to eat out, you went and soiled it by treating it like something dirty! But I agree with Carissa and Eric, it would certainly increase the harmony in my marriage.

Do you agree with Bill's sentencing of that vampire?
Matt: No. A monarch must be just and fair at all times. I think it was the King of Rock n Roll who once said: "Hot dog, jumping frog, albuquerque." Think about it, Bill.

Eric: Definitely. Did you see how terrible that video came out? If you're gonna get filmed attacking a human, it should at least be done with better actors. I'm sure Bill knows it's much easier to find someone with talent than to train someone. Kill 'em.

Carissa: Yes. Actually, Bill's surprising me with his role as king. It really suits him.

Jim: I have wished for years that being stupid was painful. I appreciate Bill taking it a step further and making it deadly. You're not being punished for what you are. You're being punished for being stupid. Could you imagine how much safer the roads would be if we could get the more people on this path?

Pen a eulogy for Sookie's fairy godmother.
Matt: May the light of your soul glow for all eternity, and in a much less shadier way than the light of that fruit you wanted Sookie to ingest. That stuff was weird.

Eric: Oh, fairy godmother, whose name I cannot remember and am too lazy to look up: "May we always remember you by your beautiful fairy world appearance and keep this casket closed."

Carissa: You may have tasted like sweet nectar going down, but your were one ugly bitch once the life was sucked out of you. Amen.

Jim: Oh, Claudine, who was penned by Charlaine as beautiful and fair/Who was changed by Alan to be ugly and barely there. Being drained by Eric as a meal must really suck/But mostly it left us all saying "What The F-ck?!?"

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.

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True Blood Season 4 Episode 3 Quotes

You have 24 hours to bring her to me, or I'll eat, fuck and kill each and every single one of you.


Sookie: You killed my fairy godmother.
Eric: Sorry.