How I Met Your Mother Round Table: "Perfect on Paper"

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This week finally delivered on the much hyped slutty pumpkin with guest star Katie Holmes.  Sure it all seemed "Perfect on Paper."

Then the episode aired and our HIMYM critic and huge fanatic of the show, Chris O'Hara, was less than pleased.  Now he's joined by Leigh Raines and Eric Hochberger to offer a secondary take on what's become the lowest rated episode on our show.

So join our round table as we tackle such topics as free houses, new Halloween costumes for Ted, and all aboot Canada.

Rate Katie Holmes performance on a scale of 1 being "Mad Money" with Queen Latifah and 10 being "Dawson's Creek."

Chris: I've said my piece on this. I had the biggest crush on too tall Joey Potter, but I haven't been a fan since. From her brief stint as Rachel Dawes to her guest judging on So You Think You Can Dance, I just can't take her seriously for some reason. The same went for this week's episode. Yes things were supposed to awkward between her and Ted but I felt like her delivery and timing would have been so even if the script hadn't called for it.

Leigh: I didn't think she was completely awful but they've been hyping the Slutty Pumpkin for years and I don't think she was the right choice. Miss Holmes hasn't been picking the right roles since she gave up "The Dark Knight." I will however give her a point for the "Barenaked Ladies" throwback. 

Eric: Much like Leigh, I thought she was just fine, but clearly had a lot of hype to live up to.  I completely hated the character until they showed things from her perspective.  Like usual, the show's unique narrative saved it for me when Holmes' character asked if Ted has never heard of sarcasm and then tried to sell it with a song.  6.  Which beats Maggie Gyllenhaal as her Dark Knight replacement any day.


If you were Marshall what would you have done about the house?

Chris: First off I was so bummed we didn't get to see Marshall and Lily dress up for Halloween. I would have thought the pregnancy would have provided a great opportunity for them to devise some hilarious costume idea together. Oh well, as for the house I think I would have at least had my friends out a few times for some cook outs and parties and depending on the carrying costs, maybe wait a little bit for the economy to improve before putting it on the market.

Leigh: Marshall and Lily should've spent a little more time at the house. Have some well ventilated bbqs, talk about it, Lily's pregnancy brain was over the top. You don't just give up a gifted house! 

Eric: Big fan of Marshall classing up the join with Minnesota Vikings curtains, but really he should have pushed for a whole Vikings man cave.  Oh and maybe and kept it.  There's nothing dishonest about tricking a drunk / pregnant woman if the end result is free house.  Mortgages suck.

Do you believe that "perfect on paper" means perfect in real life?

Chris: Life is ever changing therefore something scripted in the past can't possibly adapt and maintain relevancy in a real life environment. I think you can have a set of characteristics you would like in someone, but the real measure is what happens to those aspects of one's personality when life throws you a curve. You may love driving a convertible, but when the snow comes are you left out in the cold? Don't think for a minute I think I am being profound. I actually really don't understand the question and reverted back to my High School test taking days of filling blue books with nonsense.

LeighI'll be the resident roundtable girl and throw out a "Sex and the City" quote courtesy of one Samantha Jones. "Good on paper equals bad in bed." But seriously, chemistry is a must and you can't get chemistry from a checklist.

Eric: Yes.  I have a checklist that I fill out with each girl.  That perfect 10 will be my wife, no matter how much hair I eat, how many hands I cup, and how many BNL songs she sings.  Who am I kidding, that last one only helps seal the deal.  Though honest truth, I'm more of a "Brian Wilson" or "The Old Apartment" fan.

It's time to retire the Hanging Chad. Pick Ted's costume for Halloween 2012.

ChrisI feel like Ted would pick something "witty" and close to his area of expertise like dressing up as the Brooklyn Bridge and hanging a "For Sale" sign around his neck.

Leigh: Ted will probably be Occupy Wall Street. And then Barney will take that opportunity and make it something like "Occupy My Pants."

Eric: I sadly think Leigh's choice of Occupy Wall Street will still be topical by 2012.  Maybe they'll even have a set of demands by then.

Why do you believe that Barney despises Canada so much?

Chris: Barney hates any country that would let a fox like Robin pass through its borders and I also think their publicly funded healthcare system goes against his capitalistic money hungry attitude. Recall the "Dual Citizenship" episode where he said "those Canadian doctors bandaged me up, put my shoulder back in its socket, and reset my jaw, and they didn't even bill me. Idiots!"

Leigh: This is classic Barney denial. Textbook case. The more in denial he is, the harder he will fight against it. Example: the Rocky entrance.

Eric: Is that seriously a question?  I'll refer to the clip re-used by the show's intro: it's like the whole country doesn't have a tailor.

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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