Glee Review: A Real New Direction

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Tonight is Glee Season 5 Episode 13, which is actually the second half of the 100th episode, so I have high hopes for the songs and almost no hopes at all for the plot line.

The “that’s what you missed on Glee!” could literally just go “Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah” and you’d still have no trouble following.

Kristin Chenoweth and Gwyneth Paltrow are hanging around, ostensibly to “save” the Glee Club but probably because Fox somehow thinks what this show needs are more guest stars and fewer musical numbers. WRONG.

Rachel with Santana

If Tina got rejected from Ohio State, then girl, I’m sorry, but you are NOT getting off the Brown waitlist. I am not sure why some Jewish college is the ONLY place still accepting applications in NYC - there’s something like 100 different colleges in the city and that doesn’t include all the rest that are commutable.

My first thought at Tina’s dream-sequence hair was “Why does she have The Rachel?” and then it became obvious. The fake Friends credit sequence is extremely accurate (right down to the font and the “created by” slide) but I still have no idea why we’re watching a dream sequence.

Oh, right, the no plot thing. Carry on.

Why are there not more Kurt and Mercedes duets? Their version of I Am Changing is fantastic. I almost jump up for the standing O with the key-change too.

Rachel tries to make up with Santana by offering her 10 shows but Santana turns her down. As much as I love bitchy Santana I am starting to get tired of this fight. No one is going to WIN.

Holly Holiday is trying to add music to other clubs, so she does a sexy dance for the animal husbandry group, which seems to be mostly made up of Glee Club graduates. It is extremely elaborate and involves foam. If the Glee club has enough money for this then why do they even NEED school funding?

Leave it to Brittany to possibly solve all of the Rachel-Santana drama. Can I go with them to the lesbian island? I’m not into the girl-on-girl thing but everyone talking about their problems rationally sounds like paradise.

Tina refuses to go to NYC unless she has a college plan. Girl, have you never SEEN Coyote Ugly? This version of Loser Like Me is like the perfect palate cleanser. These kids are TALENTED. Let them SING MORE.

Santana quits Funny Girl and the peasants rejoice. I do not know this song Rachel and Santana are singing and that feels like a crime. How am I not already singing this full voice with my car windows down on a regular basis?

Sue shuts down Holly Holiday, Will shuts down Holly Holiday, and yet Holly Holiday will not go away.

Quinn and Puck sing “Learn To Love Again” (beautifully, obvs) and the sad shots of Rachel being alone are almost enough to make me cry. No one has said ANYTHING SAD this whole episode but I don’t think I can ever, every watch Glee without being just a little depressed about Finn.

Will announces the end of Glee Club officially and despite how much I rag on this show I can acknowledge the End of an Era.

The tribute video for Baby Schue is the PERFECT way to memorialize Glee Club. Remember a million years ago when Glee wasn’t even on yet and they played the previews with Don’t Stop Believin' played and you got goosebumps EVERY TIME??

I still get epic goosebumps.

Awww look at all the Glee Club non-seniors no one has cared about for the last 5 episodes! Can we be done with them please?

Wow, that is a REALLY small graduating class. I mean, not one room schoolhouse small, but for a school with an animal husbandry club, a football team and an award-winning cheer team it’s tiny.

How does Santana have the money to buy plane tickets for a globe-hopping vacation? For real, I can barely afford plane tickets from Boston to DC once a year. But YAH for Brittany coming to New York! More Brittany!

That was a really nice ending and I have extremely high hopes for a New York based season of Glee.

Do you think that was a good way to end Glee Club at McKinley High?

New Directions Review

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Glee Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

Ok listen. Brittany I love you, but running away with me and living on lesbian island is not what you want to do. You just don’t want to go back to MIT.

Santana

(about the lilies) They’re the lesbian of flowers.

Brittany

Glee Season 5 Episode 13 Music

  Song Artist
Party All The Time Glee Cast iTunes
Total Eclipse of the Heart (Season 5 Version) Glee Cast iTunes
Loser Like Me (Season 5 Version) Glee Cast iTunes