The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 Episode 9 Review: 50 Shades of Shade

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We watched NeNe Leakes and Cynthia Bailey make up over cocktails while Kenya Moore and Porsha Stewart hugged it out. Will they keep up their truce on The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 Episode 9?

Even while Kandi Burruss hosts a sex and relationships seminar?

Chances aren't good, but let's find out!

Cynthia and Peter are scoping out real estate for a new spot to reopen Bar One. After "the landlords got foreclosed on" they were forced out. Cynthia thinks that being a partner is going to give her equal say in what happens with the club.

HAHAHAHAHA. Minus 5.

The place he picked is kind of a dump, but Cynthia's a visual person and she sees potential. And the space backs up to the funeral home where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. laid in state. 

Peter says "write  the check." 

Claudia meets up with Kandi at The Kandi Factory so she can glean some knowledge from Kandi's success. Claudia's impression of Kandi so far is that she's above the drama. Good read, Claudia. Plus 8.

Kandi's bringing back Kandi Coated Nights now that she's built a set for the show. Claudia thinks the girls should all do the show together then asks Kandi to put in a good word for her. It seems the other girls don't like her so much since she's Kenya's friend. It's sad that's how women work.

Phaedra has a meeting with some security men to have a gate installed on her property to try and keep people out after Apollo leaves. He drives up while she's meeting with the men and starts questioning who's doing what and why she's spending so much money on the job.

Hey, dude, you were a criminal, so the money she's spending is probably money she made. Back off. 

Kenya and her Aunt Lori head to the spa for a day of relaxation. I'm not entirely sure any of these women are capable of relaxing when talk inevitably turns to the drama in the group, but hey, a day at the spa sounds fun. Plus 10.

Aunt Lori says this is better than Botox and Kenya throws shade at NeNe. Aunt Lori calls her on it. Plus 12 to Aunt Lori.

Over smoothies, Kenya tells Aunt Lori that she and Porsha hugged it out and that she's friends with NeNe. But maybe not so friendly that she can't throw shade? Eh. Whatev. Aunt Lori sees that Kenya has turned over a new leaf. Or that she's trying to.

NeNe has a mountain of packages in her living room because she gets gifts and buys things and then doesn't have time to open them because she's sooooo busy and she knows what's in the packages and blahblahblah. Oh, NeNe. 

NeNe got THREE offers to do a show on Broadway. THREE. Chicago, as Mama Morton, Justice in Rock of Ages, or the wicked stepmother in Cinderella. Plus 25.

Steven, her manager, is leaning toward Cinderella since it's not what people would expect of her brand, but she's unsure since "she's not a mean person." LOLOLOLOLOK. It's not like she can't find some inspiration from previous seasons of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

For Kandi's first return to Kandi Coated Nights, she has Claudia as her special guest. She and Todd butt heads just a little bit because they both like to be in control. The theme of the night is Business and Pleasure which gives Kandi a minute to talk about how Todd is all business all the time.

When Claudia hits the stage, her first question is about a rumor she fooled around with Jamie Foxx. Claudia puts the rumor to rest after a sufficiently dramatic turn to her wine glass. Plus 10.

It turns out to be a fun show. Good job, Kandi. 

Speaking of business and pleasure, Cynthia and Peter are meeting their lawyer at Bar One to do business. They have to close the old Bar One and prepare to open the new one. She gloats over how they're still together, but something tells me opening a bar together might strain them just a little. 

Phaedra's taking her mother to an event held by the National Bar Association where she's being honored. She thought about turning the award down given the drama in her personal life but decided this would be a good step in protecting her legacy for her children. She was an attorney before she was a wife. Kudos, Phaedra. Plus 10.

After the success of Kandi Koated Nights, Kandi's decided to have a little Bedroom Kandi party for her friends, complete with an underwear-clad model hanging out on the table all night. 

Porsha introduces herself to the model and shakes her hand. That's pretty awesome. Plus 8.

If anyone is capable of getting all the girls together in one place it's Kandi. NeNe walks in and gives Kenya and Claudia the cold shoulder. 

"I am not going to kiss NeNe's ass to be her friend. I don't have that much lips and I don't have that much time." --Kenya Moore, Plus 15.

Claudia calls NeNe out on the bull and says that NeNe's dislike of Kenya shouldn't have anything to do with Claudia's character. I'm liking Claudia more and more.

Dr. Rachael Ross, a psychiatrist and sexologist, has been given some back story on the girls and she wants to tie NeNe and Cynthia together in "the Bondage Game." They refuse so Kandi throws Claudia and NeNe together and Kandi throws NeNe some side-eye for being a prude. 

Then Kandi and Kenya demonstrate how the bondage strap is supposed to work to break the ice a little more. They go around the room and talk about how long they've been in their relationships and when Demetria says she's been dating Roger Bobb on and off for 8 years, Kandi's friend Gocha says she dated him, too.

And Kandi thought NeNe was killing her vibe... Minus 40.

Even the sexologist seems at a loss for words. Demetria leaves the party and Cynthia follows her. Kandi just keeps eye-balling Gocha and if looks could kill, Gocha would be dead. 

Demetria tells Cynthia she feels positive Gocha is lying but the women in the room think it's likely that she isn't. 

Dr. Ross tries to get the party going again by bringing out fake penises. Yep. That'll do it. That'll do it every time.

EPISODE TOTAL: +53 SEASON TOTAL: -300

Next week the women of the ATL head to Puerto Rico! Be sure to get caught up on the drama and watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta online before their plane lands!

50 Shades of Shade Review

Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.3 / 5.0 (3 Votes)

Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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