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When Stewie finds out his future life is miserable, he attempts to go back in time and change things for the better.

Stewie convinces Brian to join him on a road trip to San Francisco to search for the man he believes to be his true father.

After losing at a swim competition, Stewie attempts to eliminate his rival by blowing up a lifeguard tower. Stewie has a near-death experience that changes him.

After robbers break into the house, the Griffin family hides in the panic room. While stuck in there, Peter tells the family their history.

Peter tries to one-up Joe’s home theater system by installing a multiplex in his backyard. When doing so, he disrupts an Indian burial ground and his house is haunted.

Brian’s gay cousin Jasper announces he’s going to marry his partner at the Griffin’s. Mayor West bands gay marriages to cover up another scandal of his.

After reading an erotic novel, Peter writes one himself using Carter’s money. When Carter gets sued and loses all his money, he’s forced to live as a middle-class citizen. Meanwhile, Stewie trains for the Olympics.

Meg becomes an intern for Mayor West; Peter and Lois go back to their old folk singing days at a local talent show.

When Peter gets a vasectomy, he loses his sex drive, causing Lois to get depressed and gain weight. Meanwhile, Stewie’s half-brother Bertram returns to confront him and they have a battle for control of the playground.

Peter wins a maid for a week on a game show and Quagmire falls in love with her. Meanwhile, Lois stops breastfeeding Stewie, leading to withdrawals.