Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.
Jaime: Don't get up.
Whore: My Lord.
Tyrion: Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door in a whorehouse, brother?
Jaime: You have much to teach me, no doubt. But our sister craves your attention.
Tyrion: She has our cravings, our sister.
Jaime: A family trait. The Starks are feasting us at sundown. Don't leave me alone with these people.
Tyrion: Sorry, I've begun the feast a bit early, and this is the first of many courses.
Jaime: I thought you might say that, but since we're short on time...come on girls. See you at sundown.
Tyrion: Close the door!