Billy and the Boys

Billy ends up corrupting Phil and Lem after Ted manages to land him a job as a salesman.
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Phil and Lem Present

Phil and Lem present their translation device to the Veridian executives.
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Lem Teaches Phil

Lem teaches Phil how to insult people when a company memo comes out telling them to.
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Lem and Mommy

Lem sits down in his pajamas with his mother, Stella (Khandi Alexander) for a heart to heart after she has an affair with a co-worker of his.
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Lem and Lawyer Kissing

Lem ends up having an affair with his lawyer that's billing him by the hour. Good stuff always on Better Off Ted.
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Phil and Lem the Jesters

Phuil and Lem are demoted to court jesters when Ted defeats them in battle. He's their boss at life now.
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Linda Gets Needled

Linda ends up with a hypodermic needle in her when she comes down to visit Phil and Lem in the lab. That'll teach her.
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Lem Can Use the Water Fountain

No longer forced to use the water fountains for black people without white people hovering over him, Lem tries to drink from the regular water fountain and ends up with white people hovering over him.
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Lem, Veronica and Ted Discuss

Lem joins Ted and Veronica in a discussion about the new motion sensors that are indifferent towards the black employees of Veridian.
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Phil and Lem

Phil and Lem work together to work on Ted's idea to use this really uncomfortable fabric to make a chair. Hey, it's better than using it for breakfast meats.
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Ted and His Scientists

Ted talks to his two favorite research scientists, Lem Hewitt and Phil Mymen in this scene from the pilot from Better Off Ted.
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Malcolm Barrett as Lem Hewitt

Malcolm Barrett plays Lem Hewitt in ABC's new comedy, Better Off Ted. Lem is a research scientist at Veridian Dynamics and works with Phil.
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Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie