Walden and Alan

This is Walden's first mistake. Don't listen to Alan when it comes to advice on women.
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Ashton Kutcher is Walden Schmidt

A picture of Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt from the Two and a Half Men title sequence. He's an Internet billionaire.
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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: Can I go back to mom's tomorrow?
Alan: Why?
Jake: I want to hang out with my friends.
Alan: What, all of a sudden your father's not good enough for you?
Jake: It's not "all of a sudden."

Alan: Since when do you have a wet suit?
Charlie: Since I moved to the beach and noticed it was full of hot surfer chicks. If I lived next to Jellystone Park I'd have a bear suit and a picnic basket