Margo: Yeah, no shit Fillory’s in trouble. Goes by the name of the Dark King. Eliot: Or whoever’s ordering dark shit on his behalf. We’re still investigating. Margo: Which we were kinda in the middle of until you dragged us here ‘cuz you were sure bacon mcswine flu was talking about the harmonic convergence. Julia: Oops. We accidentally stopped billions of people from dying. I’m sorry.
Todd: Something, something Fillory, a most amazing land, but fucked by catastrophe, and way before we planned. La la blah blah Fillory, a land without a god. Needs a brand new hero, a strapping land named … Julia: Todd, please stop. OK, I just want to get this straight: So pig man gave you the quest in the form of a song? Todd: Yeah. I might have changed some of lines, but that’s the gist. There’s also like three more verses, and the key change is tricky. Julia: Or you could just write it down. Todd: Oh, I did. The parts I could remember anyway on a couple of napkins, and then on the back of my hand. But don’t worry, I transferred that to another napkin. But short version: Fillory is in real trouble. He said death is coming for everyone, and then he rhymed that with smeveryone. Anyway, could you please help me? Julia: I’m not going to help you; I’m going to take over entirely for you. Todd: Oh thank god because I am dangerously underqualified for this. Julia: I know.