Edward: You really are a poet. You write all the time these days. Well, what do you with all these poems? You never show them to me. Emily: I couldn’t show them to you. Edward: Why not? Emily: You wouldn’t understand them. Edward: Oh, well, you’re probably right. I just hope you find someone who can understand them. Emily: Well, don’t worry. I have someone. I do.
Ship: I’m glad you asked. I came here for you. Lavinia: I’m surprised you even remember me. Ship: Of course I remember you. You’re the most pure, simple, quiet, traditional girl I ever knew, and that is why I want to make you my wife. Lavinia: Ship, Ship, we hooked up once. Then you hooked up with someone else the same night. Ship: That wasn’t very chivalrous of me. You’ll see I’ve changed, Lavinia. I’m not that college dropout that got drunk and tobogganed into a lake. I’m a serious adult man with entrepreneurial instincts and a profound respect for women who embody traditional values such as submissiveness, chastity, and willingness to do household chores. Lavinia: I’m not even like that. Ship: You’re Lavinia Dickinson. You have tea parties for your cats. Lavinia: Well, yes, but I’ve changed too. Ship: Oh, and how have you changed? Lavinia: I’ll show you. Ship: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t you think we should wait until marriage? Lavinia: Henry ‘Ship’ Shipley, I don’t think you have any idea who you’re dealing with.