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Henry ‘Ship’ Shipley, I don’t think you have any idea who you’re dealing with.

Ship: I’m glad you asked. I came here for you.

Lavinia: I’m surprised you even remember me.

Ship: Of course I remember you. You’re the most pure, simple, quiet, traditional girl I ever knew, and that is why I want to make you my wife.

Lavinia: Ship, Ship, we hooked up once. Then you hooked up with someone else the same night.

Ship: That wasn’t very chivalrous of me. You’ll see I’ve changed, Lavinia. I’m not that college dropout that got drunk and tobogganed into a lake. I’m a serious adult man with entrepreneurial instincts and a profound respect for women who embody traditional values such as submissiveness, chastity, and willingness to do household chores.

Lavinia: I’m not even like that.

Ship: You’re Lavinia Dickinson. You have tea parties for your cats.

Lavinia: Well, yes, but I’ve changed too.

Ship: Oh, and how have you changed?

Lavinia: I’ll show you.

Ship: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t you think we should wait until marriage?

Lavinia: Henry ‘Ship’ Shipley, I don’t think you have any idea who you’re dealing with.