Ship: I’m glad you asked. I came here for you.
Lavinia: I’m surprised you even remember me.
Ship: Of course I remember you. You’re the most pure, simple, quiet, traditional girl I ever knew, and that is why I want to make you my wife.
Lavinia: Ship, Ship, we hooked up once. Then you hooked up with someone else the same night.
Ship: That wasn’t very chivalrous of me. You’ll see I’ve changed, Lavinia. I’m not that college dropout that got drunk and tobogganed into a lake. I’m a serious adult man with entrepreneurial instincts and a profound respect for women who embody traditional values such as submissiveness, chastity, and willingness to do household chores.
Lavinia: I’m not even like that.
Ship: You’re Lavinia Dickinson. You have tea parties for your cats.
Lavinia: Well, yes, but I’ve changed too.
Ship: Oh, and how have you changed?
Lavinia: I’ll show you.
Ship: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t you think we should wait until marriage?
Lavinia: Henry ‘Ship’ Shipley, I don’t think you have any idea who you’re dealing with.