Charlie Drives Jake

Despite Jake's constant please to drive, Charlie takes the wheel as the two of them reverse... over Chelsea's cat... to get some food.
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Jake Wakes Up Charlie

Jake keeps trying to wake up Charlie to convince him to let Jake use his permit and go for a drive in Charlie's $80,000 Mercedes. Not gonna happen.
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Alan and His Ex-Mother-In-Law

Alan sits on the couch with his ex-mother-in-law, Lenore (Annie Potts) as she gets very drunk and high off pills. A little inappropriate for a babysitter.
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Alan and Lenore

Lenore, Alan's ex-mother-in-law, is busy sucking his finger. Why? Because she's wasted and hasn't gotten any in 14 years. Still disturbing.
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 3 Quotes

Jake: Uncle Charlie, do you need to go anywhere?
Charlie: Yeah, away from you
Jake: You want me to drive?
Charlie: You want to drive my $80,000 Mercedes?
Jake: Yes, please
Charlie: He's unnecessarily polite for a future doorman

Judith: Just because he's fifteen doesn't mean he's ready to drive
Jake: I've been driving for years. Grand Theft Auto 1, Grand Theft Auto 2. And I've never drove anyone over except for pimps and crack whores.
Alan: Jake!
Jake: Sorry, dad. Crack prostitutes.