That's what happens when you go online. The dregs of society show up at your door and take you to places like miniature golf and karaoke bars.

April

Alan: Um, I just want to say, I'm a huge fan. I lost my virginity to you.
Steven Tyler: Really? Well ya know, there's a lot of the seventies I don't remember

Tell me the truth. Tell me one true thing.

Juliette

[to herself] I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. I am inadequate, and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. Please God, let Hannah forget me. Let me forget me.

June

Charlie: Ha, one kiss and he's ready to marry the girl.
Alan: So?
Charlie: So you don't have to worry, he's definitely your son

Truth and dare is as close as I can get to gambling.

Toby

Kort: I shoot first, ask questions later when someone's standing over and old friend's dead body.
Tony: You have friends?
Kort: Back off, DiNozzo. I was best man at his wedding

He's a group exploder. It's a gift.

Jules

My prom date was one of those murderball champions.

Penny

Mommy... They're coming.

Kira

As long as the government is calling the shots, we'll never be in control.

Alex

God will forgive us my son, but I will not forgive failure from you or your brother!

Rodrigo