Favorite Quotes
Akalitus: Zoey Barkow, you want the shift?
Zoey: I'm so flattered.
Akalitus: Don't be here. You just got here first.
Zoey: I'm still flattered.
You can't even comment on it because it's so obnoxious.
Yolanda
This isn't happening. Tell me Elijah's in there.
Hayley
Devi: But for real, what are you doing here?
Paxton: I'm the assistant swim coach.
Devi: Wait, really? But what about ASU?
Paxton: Oh yeah, uh, didn't work out. Just wasn't the right place for me.
Devi: Yeah, but, like, how would you know? You were there for, like, what, two weeks? Come on, what'd your parents say?
Paxton: College isn't for everyone, Devi. You know that, right? I mean, it's actually kind of elitist of you--
Devi: Oh no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. It's just… I don't know. I thought you could've given it more time before you, you know, gave up.
Paxton: Well, thank you for your concern, but I'm an adult. I know what I'm doing.
Stan: Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?
Cartman: No dickhole! 4 tickets, 28th row for the "Raging Pussies."
Catherine: What is that?
Beau: Dark goo. I'm good, but I'm not a mass-spectrometer.
What happened to your wrist? Oh, it's a sex injury, isn't it? Good for you.
Amelia
Ed: Hey you got a little cereal right... (points to her cheek near her lips)
Lynette: Cereal? I didn't have any... Oh I know what that is... I get nauseous from the pain so that's just a little residual vomit.
Sarah: Where are you going?
Nick: Wherever it's darkest. Wherever he is.
This is not exactly a bumper crop. Is there another word for disaster?
Bill
You remind her of that smell and the tiny socks?
Chris's Teammate
Andrews: Internal decapitation.
Lim: Have you ever worked on one of these?
Andrews: I've never even seen one.