I need some of that tequila that Cindy Crawford drinks.

Kris

Once, long ago, a fisherman caught a magic haddock. The haddock offered him three wishes in return for its life. The fisherman said, “I’d like for my son to come home from the war. And a hundred pieces of gold.” The problem is, the magic haddock, like robots, don’t think like people. The fisherman’s son came home from the war, in a coffin. And the king sent a hundred gold pieces in recognition of his heroic death. The fisherman had one wish left. What do you think he wished for? Some people say he should have wished for an infinite series of wishes, but if your city proves anything, it is that granting all your wishes is not a good idea. [...] In fact, the fisherman wished he hadn’t wished the first two wishes.

The Doctor

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Lexa: My fight is over.
Clarke: No, I won't accept that.
Lexa: You were right, Clarke. Life is about more than just surviving.
Clarke: In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey on the ground... May we meet again.

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

How the little piggies will grunt when they hear how the old boar suffered.

Ragnar

Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everyone else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it.

Sherlock

Veronica: What the hell is a "Sticky Maple"?
Kevin: It's kinda what it sounds like. It's a Riverdale thing.
Veronica: No, Kevin, it's a slut-shaming thing. And I'm neither a slut nor am I going to be shamed by someone named, excuse me, Chuck Clayton! Does he really think he can get away with this? Does he not know who I am?! I will cut the brakes on his supped-up phallic symbol.