Rafael: So my lawyer said they could go easy on me or they could want to make an example out of someone like me.
Narrator: Rich, entitled, son of a crime lord.

Patient: I’ve never had an orgasm!
Karen: Okay. Little bit of a problem.

Hey, can you read that page with all the little paragraphs about dead people? They're hilarious.

Peter

You took everything from me and kept me on a leash.

Camila

I'm all about giving. I'm like a bean-flicking Mother Teresa.

Nicky

Dad! How many people want you dead?!

Laurel Pride

I never realized Ben had TPS but I definately see the resemblence now.

Mr. Garrison

Sam: Annapolis was always your dreams.
Kam: Dreams change, Dad.

Hey, where the hell is my...oh! OK. Introduction to Contract Tort and Restitution Statutes from 1865 to 1923 is not a coaster! Ted! I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw, not one, not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met who's probably not even going to show up. I mean, where is she, Ted, huh? Where's Robin? [turns around and sees Robin] Hi. Hi, Robin

Marshall

Jenny: You were treating me like a lady!
Frank 'The Body' Gibiatti: And I watch ladies pee!
Tug: He watches every lady pee!
Frank: Not every lady.
Tug: That's the only way he can get hard!

Bryan: She's a great kisser.
Peter: I second that.
Bryan: He got my sloppy seconds.
Ellen: So we know that he kisses and tells.

Ari [referring to Harvey]: You're gonna tell him in person?
Eric: That's right.
Ari: What I wouldn't pay to see that.
Eric: Yeah, well save your money for botox Ari, all that negativity's starting to take its toll.
Ari: Call waiting, later loser