Favorite Artie Nielsen Quotes
Claudia: That's why it's a 24-hour stopwatch because Magellan was the first one to sail all around the world.
Artie: So you actually paid attention in fifth grade?
Claudia: Yes, now think back to your youth, and try to remember what he said to you on deck the night he crossed the International Date Line.
Artie: The Corsican vest. Where did you find that? Venice?
Wells: Ft. Lauderdale.
Artie: Of course.
Claudia: Would it have killed you to put a warning label on this thing?
Artie: Saying what? "Only put on in case of stupid?"
Pete: Artie, this guy has no sense of humor. He doesn't laugh at the jokes.
Artie: Your jokes Pete?
Pete: Yes.
Artie: Give that a little more thought.
Artie: Resurrection is a dangerous practice and always comes at a price
Pete: Yeah, look at Mickey Rourke.
Claudia: Artie can I talk to you about something?
Artie: Will it make me feel old and uncomfortable?
Claudia: Can I hug you?
Artie: Maybe later in the week.
Artie: How long did you have before the warehouse was gonna explode?
Pete: Under a minute.
Claudia: More like thirty seconds.
Artie: That's lucky. I once got there with 17, and (Mrs. Frederic's) voice gets really annoying when she's counting down the seconds one at time.
Artie: Listen Bismarck, until you came in things were fine.
Fargo: That's Fargo.
Pete: I would be honored to have a life like yours.
Artie: I would be honored if you'd try for a little more.
This is Adwin Kosan, he is on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know.
Artie's Law of Artifacts states that the worst thing that can happen with an artifact will happen with an artifact.