Popular Barney Stinson Quotes
Lily: Marshall and I are just growing up.
Marshall: And it's gonna be sweet, too. Like tonight, we're tasting all these different wines, pairing them up with these cool, gourmet cheeses.
Barney: Wow. Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.
Ted: All right, cool kids are leaving now. Grandma, grandpa, don't wait up
Barney: "Okay" is the name of a club. It's really exclusive. A friend of mine once stood outside for two hours and didn't get in.
Ted: A friend of yours named "you?"
Barney: No, a friend of mine named "Shut up!"
Ted: These strategies ever work for you?
Barney: The question is: Do these strategies ever NOT work for me? Either way the answer is about half the time
Robin: You are gonna love Kelly, she's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment..
Barney: Translation: She's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly.
Robin: Oh, and she's totally hot!
Barney: Ted, get your coat we're leaving.
Ted: What happened to the cute broad you were grinding with?
Barney: Promise not to tell anyone ever in your life? Ever? This can't be one of those stories...'funny time this one time Barney was...' none of that. Promise?
[Ted Nods]
Barney [whispers]: That was my cousin Leslie
Lily [looking at Barney's shiny shirt]: Hey, we wore the same the shirt! No, wait, that's just my shirt reflected in yours.
Barney: One of the 24 ways women and fish are alike is that they're both attracted to bright objects. Don't you ever read my blog?
Robin: He's not my boyfriend. He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks.
Lily: Boyfriend.
Marshall: So why haven't we met him?
Robin: We're not really ready to go public yet.
Barney: Married
You know, Ted, it's been four years. She could be engaged or married or, God forbid, fat
This party sucks. There are seven chicks here. [guy in dress takes off blond wig] There are six chicks here
Barney: Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression. What's with the face?
Ted: It's half you're pathetic, half I have to pee
Ted: Come on, Barney, this is not about the odds, this is about believing. This girl, she represents something to me, I don't know, hope.
Barney: Wow. I did not understand a word you just said
Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians
