Ben Quotes
Sock: Oh, you know what? I'm a little relieved that Sara's bun didn't come out of my oven, if you know what I'm talking about.
Ben: How could it possibly be yours?
Sock: Well, Ben, let's just say I had a very vivid dream and leave it at that, okay?
Ben: Think about it, Sam. Women don't always tell you when you screw up. They like to give non verbal clues.
Sock: i.e., making out with another dude
Ben: Was his face made up of human skin like in The Texas Chainsaw?
Andi: Ben, everybody's face is made of human skin.
Sock: That is so true
Next time I'm marrying for money, I'll charge triple
Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called
Sock: Did you hook up with Sara?
Ben: No, no. I... no! I just... got married.
Sock: What the Hell are you talking about?
Ben: She needed a green card and I felt sorry for her, okay? And look, it just happened all really quickly.
Sam: Yeah, so she's living here now?
Ben: Just for a little while, you know. Just to make it look real.
Sock: You are too stupid to exist!
Ben: Why? I like Sara. I think she's great. I think she'd make an excellent citizen, and she paid me 1,600 bucks.
Sock: You know, I take it all back, buddy. That is awesome. That is outstanding. She is beautiful! Beautiful! We got married!
Ben: Where is the place that women have babies?
Cassidy: Aren't you a little old to just be figuring that out?
Ben: No, I... I know where women have babies. I was.. um... referring to... where the room is, yeah.
Ben: I hope she likes peppermint.
Sock: You could have gotten her any flavor in the world you wanted to, and you gave her peppermint! Really?
Ben: Yeah, why?
Sock: Ben, everybody knows peppermint is for jerks, right?
Ben: I mean, they're like our cool, fun uncles.
Sock: Benji, have you ever had a cool, fun uncle?
Ben: Uncle Hector.
Sock: Uncles are creepy by definition, okay? Have you not been watching your SVU?
Sock: So we're dealing with a hot soul that kills even hotter women? Is there anything wrong that I'm aroused and disgusted at the same time?
Ben: Yeah, probably, but you shouldn't wouldn't beat yourself up over it.
Sock: Thanks, Benji
Sock: Okay, I got another one. Supergirl or Wonder Woman.
Sam: Wonder Woman.
Ben: Definitely Wonder Woman.
Sock: There's something to be said for a woman who's into bondage, you know?
Sock: I've got places to be.
Ben: Where?
Sock: Like the Work Bench.
Sam: You picked up an extra shift?
Sock: Hey, man, I've got rent to pay now.
Sam: Wow, that's really responsible of you.
Sock: I know. No, I'm messing with you. No, I got to hook up with this chick in the pool. I met her on the elevator. She's so into me
