Chandler Bing Quotes
Chandler: Joe... Joe... Joe... Stalin?
Joey: Stalin! Stalin. Do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me!
Joey: Joe Stalin. You know, that's pretty good!
Chandler: Hey, you know, you might wanna try Joseph.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Monica: You have got to do something about the humping!
Ross: What? It's just a phase.
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey.
Ross: I just got back from the vet.
Chandler: She's not going to make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?
Phoebe: (To Marcel) Goodbye little monkey guy. I wrote you this poem, okay, but don't eat it until you get on the plane.
Ross: Aw. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh!
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Joey: I don't know what to say, Ross. It's a monkey.
Ross: Well, just say what you feel, Joey.
Joey: Marcel, I'm hungry.
Ross: That was good.
Rachel: (Holding a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's uh, just, you know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Ross: If you guys don't mind, I would like to take a moment just with just me and him.
Everyone: Of course. Absolutely.
Ross: Marcel, come here. Well buddy, this is it. Just a couple of things that I wanted to say. Well, I'm really gonna miss you. I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me. You've been more like a-- Marcel, would you just leave my leg alone? Would you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Would just take him away? Just take him.
Chandler: Take off their hats!
Phoebe: Popes into a Volkswagen! (Chandler nods) Oh, I love that joke!
Joey: How can you get a monkey into a zoo?
Chandler: I know that one! No, wait. That's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Chandler: (About Marcel) How can he be an adult already?
Ross: I know. One day he's this little thing. Then he's this little thing that I can't get off my leg.
Chandler: How about Joey Paponi?
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Chandler: Joey Switzerland?
Phoebe: We found her. We found the girl.
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
Chandler: Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice?
Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, ya know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, ya know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.
Chandler: She's on the other line, she's going to call me be back. She's on the other line, she's going to call me be back. (Dancing)
Monica: Don't you have to pee?
Chandler: That's why I'm dancing.
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that! I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.
Joey: No way... Mr. Salty is a sailor, right? He's gotta be, like, the toughest snack there is.
Ross: I don't know. You don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're crazy!
