Chandler Bing Quotes
Monica: (About Ross's gift) I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: (Panicked) Ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, no... the, um, the... "love" part?
Chandler: (Stuttering incoherently) F-hah... flennin...
Rachel: Oh... my God.
Chandler: (Rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no...
Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Joey: Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Chandler: Of course there, they just call it food.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, right, Okay... including the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.
Phoebe: (About Rachel finding out that Ross loves her) This is really, really huge.
Chandler: No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.
Chandler: Okay, is there a mute button on this woman?
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
Chandler: (About Ross) He's in China!
Joey: The country.
Monica: No, no, wait. (Checking Ross's itinerary) His flight doesn't leave for another forty five more minutes.
Chandler: What about the time difference?
Monica: From here to the airport?
Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make fire! Cook meat!
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!
Joey: Man, oh, man. It was like a ticker-tape parade.
Chandler: I know. As it happens, my room is extremely close to the parade route.
Joey: (To Ross) We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man.
Chandler: I'm still on my first. I... I just think you're nice.
Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
Chandler: Oh, ok, because we never do that.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you!
Susan: (Beaming) Thanks.
Rachel: Oh God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these!
Chandler: I know. I still am one of these.
Monica: Is there something fundamentally unmarryable about me?
Chandler: (Scrambling) Uh...
Monica: Well?
Chandler: (Pulling an imaginary ripcord) Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!
