Pete: Hey, Big Brother's watching.
Claudia: Yes, yes, and so can Little Sister.

Take the next left and proceed ahead 100 feet and then prepare to be captured.

That was a crappy day at the office, huh?

Steve: You might consider buying one of your own.
Claudia: As soon as I can get Artie to stop paying me in bright orange, 500 dollar bills.

Artie: What do dogs do when a car zooms off?
Claudia: They chase them.
Artie: Yes, and what do cars have on their back bumpers?
Claudia: License plates! So maybe the dog has the license plate and can tell us - and that's where all of this falls apart!

Artie: Claudia, you're going to write down the license plate numbers.
Claudia: As you bark 'em out.

Pete: You play at the B&B all the time.
Claudia: Where no one can here me. Especially you, quit eavesdropping on me.

I'm the princess? What are those things on my chest?

Pete: I thought the giant axe was kind of a turn on.
Claudia: I officially know what too much about you.

Artie: I'm just gonna pretend we own a big down.
Claudia: We kinda do.

We're looking for a flask at a Civil War Reenactment, a place where flasks go to die.

Pete: Hey, that sounds like cannonfire.
Claudia: Brilliant! There's that college education rearing its ugly head.