I've been dying to be your assistant since we met.

Crosby: What about you Adam, have you ever used my home as a cheap hourly motel?
Adam: Don't be ridiculous. Of course I have!
Crosby: Little did I know I was living on a floating brothel.

Crosby: Well that was disappointing. Well that was a non event.
Jasmine: Babe he's six and a boy, weddings aren't high on his list.

(to Jasmine) He's totally getting into that school. They might even name the gymnasium after us.

Julia: I would say change your hat. Just sayin'.
Crosby: Oh my goodness. You don't like my duck hunting look!

Jabar is going to get into a great school - I promise.

Adam: You want my advice, step one apologize to Renee.
Crosby: For what, I didn't do anything.
Adam: It's just, you know what, you're a man. It's just what men do. We apologize. I say three I'm sorrys before I get out of bed in the morning.

Kristina: Everybody raise your glass. My daughter Haddie Braverman is running for junior class president.
Adam: That's right, following in her father's footsteps.
Julia: Excuse me, your foot steps?
Adam: Yeah.
Julia: I was class president.
Kristina: I wrote speeches.
Crosby: Student council nerds are going to have a nerd off!

Zeek: We are his grandparents too, we have a say in it.
Crosby: Well, I'm his dad and I don't have a say in it.
Zeek: Oh I see, well your balls will still be here when you get back.
Jabbar: What balls?

Rene: You go to church?
Crosby: Oh yeah, the Bravermans have a very rich spiritual lineage. We're ah, 4/10th Jewish, vaguely Catholic, and I'm told 1/16th Cherokee even, and we had a communist atheist grandpa.

It's not fair of you to hold a grudge against me for some crap your husband did years ago. I'm here for my son and I'm not going anywhere. You're going to have to deal with that.

Jasmine: You're cute.
Crosby: It's the motorcycle. Yeah, I'm just a six but with the motorcycle I'm an eight.

Parenthood Quotes

Mom, I'm on my feet I'm not destitute. I've just got a little financial trouble and two degenerate kids, but I'll be fine.

Sarah

Max: Isn't the game today?
Adam: Well buddy I thought you were done with baseball.
Max: It's my team.
Adam: Games in 10 minutes everybody.

Parenthood Music

  Song Artist
On My Way Back Home Band of Horses iTunes
Song Smile Evil Twins
Well Runs Dry Peter Case iTunes