Darryl Philbin Quotes
We do safety training every year, or after an accident. ... We've never made it a full year. This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...
Darryl: Now, this is the forklift. You need a license to operate this machine. That means the upstairs office workers can't drive it. ... Quiz! Mike.
Michael: Hmm.
Darryl: Should you drive the forklift?
Michael: I can, and I have.
Darryl: No! No no no no no! I said should you. You should not drive it. You should not drive the forklift, you understand?
Lonny: You're not allowed to drive the forklift.
Darryl: It's not safe, you don't have a license.
Michael: Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift. Pudge has driven the forklift.
Madge: Madge.
Michael: I thought your name was Pudge?
Madge: No, it's always been Madge.
Michael: Okay. Um, her.
Michael: Let's get down to business. Why don't you tell me why you think you deserve a raise.
Darryl: Well, it's simple Mike. I mean we merged these two branches right? So now we're shipping twice as many orders as we used to. With Roy gone we got a smaller crew. And I'm pickin' up all of his slack, so I think I should be compensated fairly, by gettin' a raise.
Michael: [jibberish]
Darryl: What? I can't hear you.
Michael: [mumbling] That was a very good point.
Darryl: I can't- what, Mike? Are you-
Michael: [mumbling] You make a very compelling argument.
Michael: I do not buy woman's clothes. I would not make that mistake again.
Darryl: I'ma call Roy, man.
Michael: Ohh... kay.
Darryl: This is gonna make him feel better.
Michael: All right.
Darryl: This is too good.
Michael: Alright, you know what? Pam, could you please tell Darryl that this is not a woman's suit?
Pam: Oh my God, that's a woman's suit!
Kevin: You're wearing a woman's suit?
Michael: No, I do, I, I wear men's suits, OK? I got this out of a bin.
Michael: [long pause] I am declining to speak first.
Darryl: Okay, I'll start. It's pretty simple really. I uh, I think I deserve a raise. I'm scheduled to get one in six months, but I'd like that to be moved up to now.
Michael: Hmm. Ohh, Darryl. You are a good worker, and a good man. I just, you know, times are tight. And I just don't think corporate is going to go for this right now.
Darryl: Are you wearin' lady clothes?
Michael: What?
Darryl: Are you wearin' lady clothes? Those look like lady... pants.
Michael: No, this is a power suit.
Darryl: That there's a woman's suit.
Michael: Darryl?! Hey. Hi. Where's Darryl?
Roy: He's in the office.
Michael: OK, Hey, man, how's it going?
Darryl: All right, what's up Mike?
Michael: That's great, OK. Um, so did you get an email from me?
Darryl: Yup.
Michael: OK. Well, that was supposed to go to Packer, not "packaging." Did you already, um, forward to a whole bunch of people?
Darryl: Uh huh.
Michael: OK. Um, well, did you get the second email that I sent? Explaining that the first email was a mistake and that you should delete it.
Darryl: Yup.
Michael: And you sent that out to everyone?
Darryl: Mike, I'm very busy down here.
I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse.
Darryl
I taught Mike some, uh... some phrases to help with his interracial conversation. You know, stuff like, "fleece it out," "going mach 5," "dinkin' flicka." You know, things us Negroes say.
Darryl
Michael: Let's start with the warehouse. What bothers you as guys? You know?
Darryl: My priority is safety.
Michael: Ok.
Darryl: So it really bothers me when somebody comes in here speeding around on a lift, playing with it like a toy. It kind of gets under my skin, ok?
Michael: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Michael: This is Darryl, one of our warehouse staff. Darryl, what is your biggest fear?
Darryl: My biggest fear is that someone will distract us from getting all the shipments out on time.
Michael: Now on this ship that is the office, what is the sales department? Anyone?
Darryl: How about the sales department is the sails?
Michael: Yes Darryl, the sales department makes sales.
Michael: And this is the foreman. Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
Darryl: It's not my real name.
Michael: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mis-da Ra-jahs.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
