I have a photographic tongue. I remember every taste.

I'm Evan, and my waistline doubles as my nipple line.

It's like Roe versus Wade in there.

Little Evan is finally talking to Big Evan.

Eddie: Oh hey, maybe your stepdaughter Nicole would like to join?
Honey: Sure. I'll ask Marvin and then he'll ask her and she'll tell him what the answer is. It's the way we communicate at dinner. (sighs) Takes a long time to get the salt.

Eddie: I'll cut ya! Headbutt ya! (rapping)
Emery: Mom! Eddie's rapping at my always-there bear.
Eddie: Did they give you that pin for narcing?

Eddie: What's this?
Louis: 50 small to buy your video game
Eddie: Why?
Louis: Because you don't have to be a hard man to be a hard worker

Jessica: Come on, I'll show you the Miller house. Let me just get my kids. Come on! Marco!
Evan and Emery: Polo!

Louis: If you want money you need to work
Eddie: But I can’t work. I’m only 11
Louis: But when your grandfather was 11, he had three kids as I say that I realize I’m exaggerating.

Eddie Huang: So a basketball man made a video game about karateing people?
Jessica Huang: Thank god, thank god. I knew you’d get it.

Eddie: How do you sleep at night?!
Rich kid: With two nightlights. I got a big room.

Eddie: Hey girl, how you livin'
Honey: (responding in a baffled manner) I'm fine. Uh hi, I'm Honey.
Eddie: Yeah, you are
Jessica: Eddie stop acting weird.

Fresh Off the Boat Quotes

Louis: Are you ready to do this?
Mitch:: Not really, I feel like I've told you numerous times, I don't want to do this but all you do is smile and nod.
Louis: [Smiles and nods]
Mitch: You're doing it.
Louis: [Smiles and nods[
Mitch: See, you're doing it

If you get lost, try to find a white family. You will be safe there until I can find you.