Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSEllie Torres Quotes
I'm only an okay storm; I'm not a perfect storm.
Jules: I'm sorry we can't hang tonight because we all have a very big important thing we have to go to.
Ellie: That thing got cancelled. I do have a different thing that only I have to go to.
Ellie: I can't be married to someone in public office. Jules, I have to interact with people. You know I hate the people.
Jules: That's what you get for telling Holly our thing was cancelled.
Ellie: You know what I hope? The Karma Gods get you.
Andy: He's your son.
Ellie: He needs to learn.
Park Ranger: You married to one of those guys?
Ellie: No, they're lovers.
How could you not believe me about my mom? You're my best friend, all I ask is that you have blind faith in me, and that you hit me with a shovel if I ever got a toe ring.
I get Big Carl? What's going on? Are you dying?
No wine for you!
Ellie: You're not crazy about the ditzy, trashy, fake blonde, fake tan, fake boobs, club skank you one-night standed to make that baby.
Jules: She says it better.
Get used to it. These idiots are a six-pack away from running away together.
Laurie: I almost barfed. Luckily I can control my gag reflex. [Looks at Ellie] Nothing?
Ellie: I don't swing at softballs.
Laurie: What is this? It looks like a smoke detector from a disco.
Ellie: That is a Simon.
