Evan: You knew people still do that? Why didn't you tell me.
Hank: I assumed we lived in the same society...

Sorry, the exhaustion and heat stroke had me off my game.

Evan: You're talking to Evan R. Lawson right now. Discretion is my middle name.
Hank: So that's what the R. stands for.

You don't need 20 year old glucose clogging up your system.

Jill: Divya knows
Hank: Evan Knows.
Paige: Everyone knows.

Divya: When we've been friends as long as they have, do you suppose we'll be like that?
Hank: I certainly hope so.

Man: What do I do now?
Hank: As I doctor I advise a hot shower. As a human being I advise picking up after your dog.

Whatever she makes, you will eat it.

Evan, use your favorite scissors to cut and open up these tubes...

My father never missed an opportunity to miss a game...

Game on!...schedule permitting.

Hank: It looks like Summer has arrived.
Evan: Her name is Divya.

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan