Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can't have her. How do you even get up in the morning?
Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I'm with her, even when I'm not.

Hank: Have you heard from our literary pilgrim?
Karen: No, only what she puts up on Instagram.
Hank: Oh. What's Instagram?

Hank: We need to sneak some drugs into rehab.
Bates: That sounds fun. How can I help?

Nothing like a sweet little Charlie Runkle coming of age story, to make you wanna stab yourself in the dick.

The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.

Hank: Why are you living beyond your means?
Charlie: It's the only way I know how.

Hank: How'd it go buddy boy?
Charlie: I'm sitting in the dark in my underwear Hank, day drinkin'.
Hank: Got it.

I still think you are mean, petty and vindictive, but I'm thinking maybe we should hate f-ck? Get the poison out?

Why would I put some clothes on? This is the way baby Jesus made me.

I support you bromo-sexual.

Can I bring anything back for you damaged fu-kers? Some coke? Some heroine? Some Pink Taco?

I guess I see myself as an enthusiast. A drug and alcohol enthusiast.

Californication Quotes

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.

Lou

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?

Hank