Favorite Jack Donaghy Quotes
I once pants-ed Deepak Chopra while Craig T. Nelson taped it. I don't meditate.
Jack: Steven's good, man, he's on partner track at Dewey and he's a Black.
Liz: A black!? That's offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his name. Steven Black... good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.
Liz: Well I don't care about that.
[on CNBC's Mad Money] I didn't realize we were still airing that. Cramer's been dead for six months.
He's in town. I saw him last night at Rupert Murdoch's Twister party. I mean ... regular party.
Jack: Hey, Devin, you'd better watch out. Kenneth may take your job one day.
Devon: Or your job, Jack.
Kenneth: [points at janitor] Or his job!
[Jack and Devon stare in silence]
[to Don] Well, I'll only be in D.C. for the day but if I find time I'll be sure to go see Fonzie's jacket. You sit on it as well.
This isn't the auto industry, Pete. The auto industry was run by a bunch of out of touch white guys selling consumers a product they didn't want. We're GE dammit, and we're going to make a giant, flimsy microwave.
Therapist: I think we're just doing Good Times now.
Tracy: Now do the white dude that my moms left my dad for.
Jack (in stuffed-up voice): Now see hear Tracy, it's impolite to slurp one's soup.
Tracy: Whoa, no need to resort to ugly stereotypes.
[on Argus] He's become listless, and he won't eat any of the food I got at the crazy rich person's pet shop.
Jack: So what are you gonna do with your money? Put it into a 401K?
Liz: Yeah, I gotta get one of those.
Jack: What?! Where do you invest your money, Lemon?
Liz: I've got like 12 grand in checking.
Jack: Are you an immigrant?
Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
Peacocks can live up to 40 years. Longer if they're not part of Mike Tyson's zoo.
