It's going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair and make-up?

Liz, I need to speak with you. Beat it, Grizz or Dot com.

Black people, I know I've said a lot of terrible things about you in print, but I come here today on a mission of peace.

I met JJ Abrams once, and I don't know what this means, but he said that the island was just Hurley's dream.

And no making fun of me for using outdated pop culture references. Are we cowabunga on this?

Oh, don't look at me like I'm a football game.

I don't know if you saw the crawl on the TV Guide Channel, but I've agreed to star in a sexy supernatural thriller, in the vein of Twilight and True Blood.

This is actually a werewolf picture that for tax purposes is shooting in Iceland.

This is the defining thing of my life. It's not gonna be that hit-and-run!

Oh, I didn't know anyone was here. That wasn't me screaming in the bathroom.

It hurts more than my foot botox to know that he's out there and I can't find him.

Oh for God's sake, what is this, Third Watch?