Liz women wearing men's watches is so over. The new thing is to get an Adam's Apple.

You are going to win, and when you do I'll be furious. Like waking up next to Rob Schneider furious.

Liz: I don't know which of you to be more disappointed in.
Jenna: Me silly. I'm more aware of what I'm doing.

I should get a chafing dish and fill it with my underwear in case some Saudi guys show up.

My exercise video is dropping soon. It's called "Jenna gets hard."

I swear to Kabbalah monster, those jeans are perfect. Look at your butt.

Dr. Drew called me un-fixable.

Kim Jong Il? I've never heard of her.

I need to see mine. If they used any of the footage from my shoplifting arrest, that would be great because my arms looked fantastic.

Jenna: Kenneth, take this card and get a cake for the crew.
Kenneth: Oh that's very thoughtful Ms. Maroney.
Jenna: Well one of the camera guys just had a baby, and I'm sick of hearing about it. This will put me back on top.

Jack: Jenna, have you been drinking?
Jenna: No, Jack. Well I had a bottle of wine with dinner.

Jenna: President O'Bama, in your own words, why are you a terrorist that hates America?
Tracy: That's an excellent question...Uh oh, I'm doing something called "breaking" Blahahahaha. Snort. Heehee. Giggle giggle. The audience loves this!