Jill: So you and your brother seem pretty different.
Hank: On a good day, very different.

(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.

Hank: You wanna grab a bite to eat?
Jill: I only have 30 minutes 'til my next meeting.
Hank: We'll take big bites.

Tucker: (to Hank) Your date seems to be having a good time.
Hank: Oh, no...
Jill: Oh, this...
Hank: This is not a date.
Jill: It's not a date.
Tucker: Awww. (chuckles)
Libby: What do you kids call it these days?

Jill: Feel this. Silk. How much do you think this benefit costs?
Hank: I don't know. A lot?
Jill: Twice that. At least.

Jill: Guess you can be both.
Hank: Both?
Jill: Concierge doctor to the rich, and an on-call doctor to the rest of us. Robin Hood of medicine.
Hank: As long as no tights are involved.

Like Mr. Kliner. He was our biggest donor. He had plenty of money to throw a retirement party for a ballerina, but not enough to honor his pledge to the free clinic. And for the record, free clinics, they're not free. Big misnomer. They're expensive. Only you can't call them that or nobody would come.

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan