Oh my God, I was mean to my daddy.

(to Andy) I just love our girl time.

Laurie [about Ellie]: She's hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman
Ellie: You think I'm hot
Jules: That worked?
Ellie: Well yeah because if that trashy big lipped slag said it, it might be a little true
Laurie: You think I have big lips? That's really sweet

Grayson: What did you do?
Jules: I cracked the code.

Oh that's right. You have a kid!

Yes, I got that from a Sandra Bullock movie, but ya know, I still mean it.

Could you imagine if we ever dated. It would be like dropping a bomb on a forest fire.

Laurie

I don't believe in ghosts, because if they were real I'd like to think that I would be felt up all the time.

One Soy Latte for Lady J. Love Explosion.

Jules: If you go to college within six hours, I'm gonna drive there and if you don't we can rent the same movie and watch it while we're on the phone.
Travis: Sounds horrifying.

We got to get their attention - cough!

Ellie: Imaginary hat!
Jules: Imaginary hook hands! I don't know what we're doing.

Cougar Town Quotes

[Title Card]: She's marrying a man her own age, so why is it called Cougar Town?

Jules: Wine in the morning on the weekends. Lets all think about it people.
Bobby: Think about what?
Grayson: Morning drinking.