Jules: Did you really just hiss?
Ellie: I'm trying it out.

Jules: I can't believe I was married to a guy who keeps his driver's license in a box
Bobby: A box marked important stuff

Dad, I missed you. How've you been?

Jules: Travis! You're mine today.
Travis: This can't be good.

Travis: Mom, people from Taiwan are really called Taiwanese.
Jules: Agree to disagree.

This is my fault. I should have written a note by the phone that says "Bobby, do not answer my phone." Oh, I was wrong here it is.

You're the kiss master.

Jules: Hey JJ. That's your girl name.
Travis: Of course.

Grayson: First up, check out the truth: freshly waxed.
Jules: Oooh, it's like a brand new, slightly gay Ferrari.
Grayson: I wish you wouldn't call my beauty regimen "slightly gay."
Jules: And I wish you wouldn't say "beauty regimen.

I have two hours to get healthy. It's like cramming for a test.

We got to get their attention - cough!

Get crabbin' bitch.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart