(on Hyde's history paper)
Laurie: Oh yeah, what'd you get? A D?
Hyde: No. A C minus. (Red and Kitty cheer)
Eric: I got a B.
Red: You couldn't get an A?

Eric: Didn't you just, like, flunk out of college?
Laurie: Get bent, twerp.
Eric: Wear a bra!

Kelso: Laurie, what's going on? You're acting like you're liking me, and that's weird.
Laurie: It's like I told you Kelso, I'm bored.
Kelso: Well that's very flattering, but uh, you know, Jackie and I are back together.
Laurie: Oh. I understand. Do you wanna see my appendix scar?
Kelso: Once again, (looks at it) what's-her-name and I are back together!

(Laurie is folding clothes in the basement; she bends over)
Fez: Holy Mother!
Kelso (nervously): Hello, Laurie.
Laurie: Hello, Kelso, Hyde.
Fez: Who's the goddess?
Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister.
Hyde: She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.

Red: So, how's your friend, Janice?
Laurie: Pregnant.
Kitty: Oh, she was such a nice girl, how would that happen?
Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it attaches to the wall--

(Laurie comes to the basement to do laundry, wearing only a long t-shirt)
Laurie...I want you to stay off my case, it will only take me a minute.
Eric: I don't think Kelso's gonna last that long.
Laurie: Too bad. It's not like I'm completely naked under this. I'm wearning underwear. (she lifts her shirt) See? If we were at the beach you wouldn't even notice me.
Hyde: If we were at the beach, Kelso would be in the water right now.

Red: Oh and uh, here's a 20.
Laurie: Will that cover for gas?
Kitty: Oh well, honey, give her another 10 just in case.
Eric: You know, I could use some gas money.
Red (laughs): Yeah... and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hops.

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.