Lisa: Why did you come?
Danny: I wanted to say, whatever happens, I’ll be here.

Lisa: I’m not sleeping with him, Veggie. Am I?
Veggie: No. It would make more sense to me if you were. I don’t think you know what it’s like for your partner to come alive as soon as you go to bed. It’s like I sleep through all of your shine. I wish you were sleeping with him. At least I could be angry, you know. We could work through it, but I don’t even know what the problem is, let alone how to fix it.

Veggie: I’ve never found it easy with words.
Lisa: I know.
Veggie: I’ll always be your Veggie, Lisa, for as long as you want me to be.

Danny: Why would you do that?
Lisa: I don’t know.
Danny: You don’t know. There’s no reason. You just said…
Lisa: Of course, there was a reason!
Danny: Then what’s the reason? Lisa, tell me the reason. What’s the reason?
Lisa: Because I thought that you deserved better. I could see that Chloe was using you, and you didn’t deserve that because I just met you, but I could already tell how kind and funny you were. And because I liked you.

Lisa: We should go dancing, like right now. What’s stopping us?
Danny: Well, me. Hello. I’m agoraphobic.
Lisa: But you left the flat to come and find me.
Danny: But that was, well, that was different.
Lisa: Well, how?
Danny: Well, because you needed me.

Lisa: Oh, I’m like you now.
Danny: No, to become like me, you need a very special kind of dumping. The kind of humiliation that literally keeps you up every single night.

Lisa: I’m really sorry I’ve been distant lately.
Veggie: You have because you thought I was going to propose.
Lisa: What?

Christine is lovely. She is full of positivity. She’s just actually a really, really nice person, and I bloody hate her guts.

Danny: Talking about a waste of a day, how is camping going?
Lisa: I am having a great time. How was that? Anywhere near believable?
Danny: No. Not really. No.

The cows just turned up, much like everyone else this weekend.

Veggie: When I want to relax, I just shut my eyes and imagine I’m in a nice, hot bath.
Lisa: I hate baths. You just lie there in your own filth like a hippo.
Veggie: That’s why every time I have a bath, I always have a shower afterward.
Lisa: That’s ridiculous. That’s just doubling the time it takes to wash. Why not just have a shower?
Veggie: Because I like having a bath and sitting in my filth like a hippo.
Lisa: No wonder there’s no hot water left for me in the morning.

Lisa: You are so incredible. You are incapable of saying a bad word about her. I mean, honestly, if someone had cheated behind my back with three people, I would so not be defending them the way you are.
Danny: I’m sorry, what did you say? Did you say three people?

Still Up Quotes

Lisa: I saw this ad for some new pills called Snoozers. Extra strength for proper insomniacs. I should see if I can get some while I’m here.
Danny: No, don’t. They don’t knock you out. They just make everything taste like cabbage.

Lisa: So, is that your plan for the next month? Every time he’s outside, you’re just going to crawl around in the dark?
Danny: Yeah, I’m committed now. And, you know, on the bright side, think of all the money I’ll save on lightbulbs.