I really like my guy. He's sort of a Doogie Howser type, but younger.

Tracy: How many times have I come over and painted your apartment?
Liz: Three, and by the way stop doing that.

Normal is a woman and a woman getting married and having a child.

Great news Jack. I've got a new life philosophy that I call Lizbianism.

I found Tracy, I saved the show, I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff.

Hobo: Get out of my home!
Liz: Sorry recurring hobos.

Tracy Jordan I am taking you to a strip club.

Liz: Lutz what are you working on?
Lutz: Breathing through my mouth so I don't smell the throw up on my shirt.

Liz: Jenna think about this. You will have a child.
Jenna: Who will grow up to be a little gay fancy man.

I had a boyfriend, Dennis. I'm sure he was an idiot, but he made great chili and he didn't care if I watched tv during sex.

Where's my mac 'n cheese?!?

This better be important Jack, I was in the middle of buying a bag of bras on Ebay.