Lorelai Gilmore Quotes
Lorelai: Okay. Now, Sookie's on top of the menu. Let's make sure the dining room's open for a late lunch, and we need to confirm the number of rooms they'll need.
Michel: Yes, I have all of this written down on a notepad right next to my self-help book, Why Don't People Think You Know What The Hell You're Doing?
Emily: This couch cannot stay.
Lorelai: Yes, it can.
Emily: It's awful.
Lorelai: It can hear you.
Emily: Please.
Lorelai: No.
Emily: Well, your father's sixtieth birthday dinner is back on.
Lorelai: What sixtieth birthday dinner?
Emily: The one that I had planned for Wednesday night.
Lorelai: Oh, were we coming?
Emily: Of course you were coming. You think you wouldn't be invited?
Lorelai: Well, apparently, we weren't invited.
Emily: I had just started planning the whole thing when he came home in a mood and declared that parties were for children and it was canceled.
Lorelai: Were we disappointed?
Emily: (about Lorelai's house) Is it clean?
Lorelai: Yeah, it's clean.
Emily: If I came in there wearing white gloves, what would I find?
Lorelai: That you could pull a rabbit out of your hat.
Lorelai: I totally suck at buying my father gifts. Especially for his birthday.
Rory: He'll like whatever you get him.
Lorelai: If I slip him a Quaalude, he'll like whatever I get him.
Lorelai: Could you get rid of it?
Dean: Yeah, yeah.
Lorelai: Don't let his family see you. Spiders are vindictive. And this was a really big spider. I think it had a gun.
Rory: Salad's great, Grandma.
Emily: I'm surprised you can eat at this point, even salad.
Rory: There's still room.
Lorelai: And if there isn't room, we'll add on. I know a good contractor.
Luke: Don't bother, saw you coming, already ordered your Wednesday usual, the French dip, extra fries, the every Wednesday cherry pie.
Rory: Such service.
Lorelai: Oh, and such a food rut we're in.
Rory: Thank you, Luke.
Luke: I gotta get back to stuffing my turkey.
Lorelai: Oh, honey, do you have time to do that and prep your Thanksgiving food?
Luke: Stop it.
Rory: Hey. (hands Luke a bouquet of flowers)
Luke: What's this?
Rory: Flowers.
Luke: What do I do with them?
Lorelai: Ugh, not this again.
Rory: Put them in a vase with water.
Luke: I don't have a vase.
Lorelai: You do this every year.
Luke: I don't have vases.
Lorelai: Buy a vase.
Luke: But I don't need a vase 'cause I never have flowers.
Lorelai: Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.
Luke: Shouldn't we say thanks first?
Jess: For what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for small pox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Amen.
Rory: How do you feel?
Lorelai: I ate tofurkey! How do you think I feel?
Rory: Tofurkier?
Lorelai: Drat that Mrs. Kim for not taking her eyes off me the whole time. It's like she was anticipating my napkin maneuver.
Lorelai: Rory what are we if not the world's champion eaters?
Rory: It's too much food.
Lorelai: It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.
Rory: Or final hour.
