Lorelai Gilmore Quotes
Rory: I'll be back in plenty of time to help you decorate.
Lorelai: No, this is your party. You do not work. You lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing?
Rory: Sorry, I'll try to be better.
Lorelai: Oh, hey, Rory's birthday party is this Saturday night so start thinking up reasons why you can't come.
Michel: I'm going to be out of town.
Lorelai: Ooh, you used that one last year.
Michel: I'll work on it and get back to you.
Lorelai: 7:00, presents mandatory.
Rory: So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?
Lorelai: Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbara Streisand will give her final concert...again.
Rory: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips.
Rory: You ask a simple question...
Emily: Lorelai, I just tried some of those hors d'oeurves. They're unbelievable. Who is your caterer?
Lorelai: Sookie.
Emily: What's a Sookie?
Lorelai: (pointing to Sookie) That's a Sookie.
Lorelai: You invited all these Chilton kids without even asking her.
Emily: They're her schoolmates. I assumed they were her friends.
Lorelai: Well, you know what they say when you assume things.
Emily: No, I don't, what do they say?
Lorelai: That -- you shouldn't.
Emily: Very clever.
Emily: This Patricia --
Lorelai: Miss Patty.
Emily: She teaches dance?
Lorelai: Among other things.
Rory: Mom's famous for her blowouts.
Lorelai: The best one was her eighth birthday.
Rory: Oh yeah, that was good.
Lorelai: The cops shut us down.
Luke: The cops shut down an eight year old's birthday party?
Rory: And arrested the clown.
Emily: Tomorrow our lawyer, Joseph Stanford, is coming by.
Lorelai: Ugh. Crazy Sissy's dad.
Emily: That's terrible. Sissy was a good friend of yours.
Lorelai: Mom, Sissy talked to her stuffed animals and they answered her.
Luke: She's not here yet.
Lorelai: Alright. Well, you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay, Burgerboy! Dance!
Luke: Will you marry me?
Lorelai: (stares agasp) What?
Luke: Just...looking for something to shut you up.
Emily: Could you be serious? We're shopping for Rory.
Lorelai: No Mom, I'm shopping for Rory, you are shopping for your imaginary granddaughter, Barbara Hutton.
Lorelai: And, it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago I was lying in exactly this same position...
Rory: Oh, boy. Here we go...
Lorelai: ...only I had a huge fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor...
Rory: ...on leave...
Lorelai: ...on leave! Right! And, there I was...
Rory: ...in labor...
Lorelai: ...and, while some have called it, the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.
Rory: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.
Lorelai: And, I was screaming and swearing, and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me.
Rory: There wasn't.
Lorelai: But, the pelting the nurses sure was fun.
Lorelai: Emily Gilmore, you can set your watch by her. Although you know what she did do last night?
Sookie: Wore jeans?
Lorelai: Served pudding.
Sookie: I was close.
Lorelai: I mean, I'm sure it was some expensive form of pudding, but nonetheless it was pudding!
Sookie: That is amazing!
Lorelai: Right?! That would mean that she actually made a mental note that we like pudding, which would mean she listens to something other than the judgmental conga line going on in her head, and got over the fact that to her, pudding is hospital food and is only acceptable when you've just had a vital organ ripped out of your body.
Sookie: Wow, that's some journey she had to take, there.
Jackson: (comes running into the kitchen and says to Lorelai) Open your mouth and close your eyes.
Lorelai: Who are you talking to?
Jackson: Right. Sorry (runs to Sookie). Open your mouth and close your eyes.
Sookie: Okay. (opens her mouth and closes her eyes).
Jackson: Now get ready for something truly amazing.
Sookie: Mmmmmmmm! Yeah!
Jackson: Huh?
Lorelai: What is it?!
Sookie: I don't know. It's like a--
Jackson: A what?
Sookie: It's like a berry, but way more exotic.
Jackson: Yes! Good!
Lorelai: Jackson, have you been having reactions to your fertilizer fumes again?
