Ava: Ava Fest, on the other hand, is going to be special. I just have to come up with a way to take it over the top. A way to make it unhinged.
Melissa: Have you ever tried just being hinged?

Mr. Johnson is single-handedly responsible for keeping most of the toilets in this joint running some of the time.

Barbara: I don't know why you wouldn't trust me enough to tell me who's courting you.
Melissa: Nobody is courting me! This ain't Bridgerton; it's casual.
Barbara: Casual what? Casual friends? Casual pickpockets? Casual ghosts? Casual what?

Ava: Why don't you look better?
Gregory: Because this is a modest panel of educators speaking mostly to fellow educators on a Tuesday. I'm dressed appropriately.
Melissa: Maybe for a Monday.

Janine: I just love this school so much!
Melissa: Yes, that's your defining characteristic.

Abbott Elementary Quotes

He fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? I'd like to climb that family tree.

Ava

Student: Mr. Eddie, I accidentally brought my seed to my mouth and accidentally ate it.
Gregory: Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel?
Student: Yes
Gregory: Ok, let's go to the nurse.