Creed: Hey, why haven't we ever, uh...
Meredith: We have.

Meredith: Maybe we shouldn't play due to the circumstances.
Dwight: Hey, people need volleyball now more than ever.
Pam: How do you figure?
Dwight: Because if we don't play, then the other team wins.
Oscar: Dwight's right. Corporate deserves to get its ass kicked.
Pam: Let's do this.

Andy: You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki.
Toby: All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights.
Dwight: Listen up, Flenderson. You're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? Here are the new rules. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.
Toby: All right, come. Sit down, Dwight.
Dwight: No.
Toby: I'm running this meeting.
Dwight: That's debatable.
Toby: It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up.
Meredith: Ooh, where has this guy been?
Toby: Casual Fridays are cancelled. [everyone protests] Let's just not do it anymore.
Andy: You're running from the problem.
Toby: There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly.

Toby: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Meredith: About what?
Toby: Your outfit.
Meredith: What? What's wrong with my outfit?
Toby: You ... might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ... it's riding up a little high.
Meredith: A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? [pulls down dress, office gasps] Is that how it goes?
Oscar: Meredith, your boob is out.
Meredith: Fine. [pulls dress up, everyone gasps again]
Angela: Meredith, too far!
Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Meredith: It's casual day. Happy?

Dwight: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients?
Stanley: It's not right. I don't like it.
Dwight: He doesn't like it.
Phyllis: You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [sighs] No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty.
Dwight: Her face is okay, but-- Jesus! What --what are you doing here?
Meredith: I don't know. I saw a crowd. I thought there might be a dogfight or something--
Dwight: Get out! We need to do something. I'm thinking maybe a coup or we take Ryan hostage.

[to Ryan] Don't fall in love with me, kid.

Creed: These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.
Michael: These are shaped like paper.
Creed: Well I don't even want these. [Takes rectangle pancakes out of his coat]
Meredith: I'll take them for my kid.

Pam: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Michael: I looked at Wallace and I said "I quit!" and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said "You have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Kevin: That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Meredith: Did you spit in his face?
Michael: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.

Dwight: Oh, here's one: a string quartet, playing classy-cal music.
Michael: You know, that's good but it's not classy. I need something classy like the opening of a car dealership.
Jim: That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Mr. Peanut is not classy.
Michael: He is.
Dwight: He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat.
Michael: That's what makes him classy.

Meredith: She could be your soul mate.
Dwight: Oh, not likely. Three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don't add up.
Oscar: It's possible.
Kelly: She could be.
Michael: Believe me its nothing. I hardly even talked to her we just, we were lying there next to each other, I think our blood bags touched.
Kelly: Aww.

Kevin: Is that what I think it is?
Oscar: Good God!
Kevin: [gasps]
Oscar: [laughs]
Angela: [gasps]
Kevin: That one ugly cat is humping Princess Lady!
Angela: No!
Meredith: Awesome!
Angela: Stop it, Mr. Ash! Bad cat! That is very bad! You stop it right now! I swear, he is fixed.
Meredith: Yeah, I know fixed; that ain't fixed.
Kevin: No way.

Oscar: You have your cats on Nanny-Cam?
Angela: Yeah. I mean, I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat, but I'm out of vacation days. And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean, when somebody has a kid, oh sure, take off a year.
Meredith: She's right. I had my second kid just for the vacation.
Angela: Right. Anyways... I just want to make sure Princess Lady is acclimating well. She means more to me than anyone.
Kevin: Any cat, you mean.
Angela: And person.

The Office Quotes

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Darryl