Morgan Grimes Quotes
(Morgan's phone rings)
Morgan: One sec you guys, It's Chuck again.
Lester: No, don't answer it, he's after my computer.
Morgan: I know, but he's called twice. He never does that, it could be an emergency. Why he'd call me I have no idea.
Lester: No, Morgan, no.
Morgan: I can't move in with you, Chuck. Because I'm moving in with Anna. She loves me and she wants to move in with me and I want to make her happy. But I want you to understand.
Chuck: I do. Buddy, seriously, I totally understand and furthermore, I think that you are absolutely making the right decision.
Morgan: That's awesome. Thank you.
Chuck: Is she gonna be okay with your string cheese habit?
Jeff: Morgan Grimes is so tired of listening to Big Mike punch his momma's time clock, that he actually showed up for work on time today.
Lester: Okay, okay, well Morgan Grimes is so disturbed by what Big Mike is doing to his momma, that the thought of Jeff doing the same thing to Anna is actually sweet, sweet relief.
Jeff: Oh snap.
Morgan: That's good. Laugh it up, fuzzballs.
Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.
Morgan: What are you reading there, sweetie?
Anna: Did you know IKEA sell 17 kinds of home shelving? I can only pronounce two of them, though.
Lester: (About Anna) My God, could she really be...unrepulsable?
Morgan: I'm beginning to think so.
Jeff: No, sir. Not on my watch.
Morgan: What are you suggesting?
Jeff: You're going to need a quart of peanut oil, some bubble wrap and as much yarn as you can find.
Chuck: Why are you trying to repulse Anna?
Morgan: No, no, no, no, no. Lester, it's ridiculous. What I was trying to do was simply test her, that's all.
Chuck: Testing her why?
Morgan: Because, Chuck, because she's trying to get all serious with me and--and I wanna make sure that she loves me for me and not...other things.
Chuck: (To Jeff and Lester) Excuse us. (To Morgan) Are you crazy? What other things could she possibly be loving you for? I mean, honestly, buddy, you know that I love you, but you're lucky to have a girl in your life who loves you for you, even though you are, in fact, you.
(Morgan discussing the misunderstanding with Anna)
Lester: Oh buddy, you are screwed.
Morgan: No, actually I think if I tell her the truth at this point that'll end the sexual component of our relationship.
Jeff: And I'll be there to pick up the pieces.
Chuck: Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I'm moving out.
Ellie: Oh, yes!
Chuck: And moving in with Morgan.
Ellie: No!
Morgan: Oh, yeah. Video games and nudity all day and all night...
Sarah: (knocking on the door and entering) Oh, I'm sorry. (to Chuck) Can I talk to you for a second? It's kind of important. (They leave together)
Morgan: Talk about your third wheel...
Chuck: Something wrong with you and Anna?
Morgan: She's out of town, we're actually really good. No, it's my mom and Big Mike, they're like teenagers. They just keep going at it and keep going at it. The man moans like a wounded sea lion.
Big Mike: Grimes! Or should I call you son? Who the hell are all those geeks over there at the Customer Service desk?
Morgan: You were supposed to hire the new green-shirt today.
Big Mike: You want to do the interview? Get a little taste of what the power of management is?
Morgan: Hm...why can't you do it?
Big Mike: Well, your mama asked me to stop by the house today to take care of a few things. There hasn't been a man around in a while and certain things have become...neglected.
Jeff: Like what?
Big Mike: Uh, the plumbing's a mess. I got to get over there and get to lay down some pipe. I got to snake the drain, make sure everything running smoothly again. You're in charge, son. Just think: all of this could be yours some day.
Morgan: Hey, Chuck. I was thinking that, you know, maybe Ellie seeing me naked was actually a blessing in disguise.
Chuck: Not for her it wasn't.
