Morgan Grimes Quotes
Bennett: I'm looking for John Casey. Can you tell me where to find him?
Morgan: What do I look like? An information desk?
Bennett: Excuse me?
Morgan: Yes, fine, you're excused. Oh, and don't forget to fill in our customer comment card on your way out.
Morgan: Alright, just to be absolutely clear, our position on "Employee of the Month" is that we don't care. Are you guys with me?
Jeff: Yep. Not caring. Not a rat's ass.
Lester: Not a fat and/or hairy one.
Jeff: Wait, why don't we care again?
Morgan: Because "Employee of the Month" is a scam and working hard is for suckers.
Jeff: (snatching up the customer comment card and shouting) Four stars! I just kissed your ass for four lousy stars! What do you people want from me? Just spit in my face next time.
Morgan: Hey Jeff. How's it going man? You alright?
Jeff: I think I'm getting the hang of this customer service thing.
Big Mike: Did I just hear you don't have Thanksgiving plans? That's terrible, damn terrible. I'm amazed to find so many staff members without proper plans for Thanksgiving. Like those two poor creatures. (Points to Jeff and Lester)
Morgan: Sir, are you inviting us to dinner?
Big Mike: No...God, no.
(Morgan is trapped in the Buy More Door)
Morgan: Jeff, open the door, buddy.
Lester: Open the door.
Jeff: Got it.
(The outer door opens)
Morgan: Okay. Nice, Jeff. Now can you open the door that is currently chopping me in half?
Ellie: Morgan, are you holding my underwear?
Morgan: Wait a second, wait a second. Wait, I-I need to be very clear about this. Okay, the only thing I came in here to steal was a CPR test. So any suggestions to any pervy related to your panties--underpants is, frankly, outrageous.
Ellie: So you deny being a perv, but you admit to being a thief?
Morgan: Do I at least get points for honesty?
Morgan: Are you guys ready?
Lester: I was born ready.
Jeff: I was born premature.
(After Chuck realized how to beat Missile Command)
Chuck: (to Morgan) Morgan... hey ah, buddy do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?
Morgan: No need. I got them all on my Zune!
Chuck: You have a Zune?
Morgan: You kidding me? No... no, I'll grab my iPod.
Chuck: Hey buddy, what's going on?
Morgan: Lester's new sales policy, we are giving away merchandise.
Chuck: That's going to end badly.
Morgan: I know. I know, Chuck. That's part of the fun.
Anna: Morgan, you can't let a bully like Mitt push you around, this isn't high school.
Morgan: No, it's worse. This is Buy More.
See, I have this perfect system for doing as little work as possible. It's a science, really doing nothing. A promotion at this point would destroy all my hard work.
Like the time he locked himself in a room and played Goldeneye for three months. Who knew you could get bed sores from video games?
