Hello lads, I'm Bister Bohnson from Babbott Belementary, where I work as a teacher, not as a janitor, although I have immense respect for the work they do.

Mr. Johnson: You two are friends.
Jacob: Please don't tell anyone; we're not ready for people to know.
Mr. Johnson: Alright, but this is a dangerous game you're playing.

Ava: Hey Mr. Johnson, where'd you get those shoes? Crappos?
Mr. Johnson: (cries)

Abbott Elementary Quotes

He fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? I'd like to climb that family tree.


Student: Mr. Eddie, I accidentally brought my seed to my mouth and accidentally ate it.
Gregory: Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel?
Student: Yes
Gregory: Ok, let's go to the nurse.