Myka: Who was that masked man?
Pete: That was no man, that was a superhero.

Artie: What?!
Pete: Cranky is kind of your natural state of being isn't it?
Artie: What Pleeeease?!

Leena: Now that is something I never expected to see.
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she must have found an artifact that makes her act like a girl.
Myka: mmmuaahh (makes face).

Pete: (wrestling with H.G. Wells) I would hate to have to hit a sweet old Victorian woman.
Myka: I on the other hand, have no problem shooting one (pointing gun at H.G. Wells).

Myka: H.G. Wells is actually a woman, I am going to have to process this.
Pete: Make it fast would ya?

Myka: Pete, Artie says that H.G Wells is actually........
Pete: (With a gun at his neck) A woman, a really hot woman, maybe good with a gun.
Myka: He left out the gun part.

Myka: So do all your dates work out this way?
Pete: On a scale of 1 to 10 I am giving this one a 7.

So this place is filled with, like the worst guys ever, right? Hitler, Mussolini, Michael Vick.

MacPherson: Walk out of here with me now... and follow what you know to be true in your soul.
Pete: That's a nice speech. it sounds even better with the fancy accent. But it still doesn't cover the fact that you are out of your gourd, McNutty-Pants! You put a bomb in a man's mouth. Not really a great recruiting tool.
MacPherson: Fair enough.

Pete: Okay, let's go over what we don't know.
Myka: That could take weeks.
Pete: Months.
Myka: Years.

Pete: But there's something else.
Myka: What?
Pete: I think I'm hot for your mom.

Pete: He thinks you're still in D.C. They both do.
Myka: Well, yeah. And if you tell them any differently, I swear, I will... I will drop a dictionary on your crotch.